Am I the only one that noticed that Apple’s Spotlight desktop search is a complete piece of shit? Here are my complaints:

1. It starts searching as you type. Sounds like a feature, right? No…just type ‘a’ and before you can type the second letter it is strenously searching for every goddamn file that has an ‘a’ in it. This wouldn’t be so bad except…

2. It is a major fucking resource hog. Once I typed ‘a’ as described above I get the spinning rainbox cursor of death as it maxes out CPU, disk and memory searching for every goddamn file that has an ‘a’ in it. Please, oh please, let me finish typing what I want you to search for before you start searching for it.

3. It is a major fucking resource hog. Thought I said that already? Well this time I’m talking about the major CPU load it creates as it indexes hard drives. For example, plug in a 10000 gigabyte hard drive and Spotlight will start to index it for you, eating every possible shred of resource it can get its hands on. Have you dolts at Apple ever heard of `nice`? You should fucking nice those sorts of commands to zero priority. It is completely wrong to make me sit and wait for an hour while you index every fucking disk you can get your hands on. nice the shit, bitches! Not that hard.

4. This is a fun one: if you search by Kind->Others it builds a list of every possible kind of application for you. The problem is, it takes 5 minutes for it to do this. Even if your choice is in the list, it is impossible to choose because it keeps redrawing the dropdown menu, resetting it back at the top. So you scroll down, it scolls back up for you every 1 second or so. Did anyone at Apple ever try to use this feature before they released it?

As my friends and co-workers know, I am a huge fan of Apple. You would see about 10000 times more of these bitches if I was using Windows often. (Windows is beyond lame in almost every imaginable way. I know because I have two Windows boxes, too, that I use for astronomy.) Apple does drop balls, too, though, and Spotlight is a miserable failure.

Dear Steve Jobs, please fire every dolt on the Spotlight team and put someone with half a brain on that project. Desktop search IS very important, way too important to fuck up as bad as you guys have fucked it up.