My Worst Nightmare

…is fucking Christian judges thinking they know what is best for my child.

I have an idea I’d like to share with all you evangelicals — you raise your kid how you want to and I’ll raise my kid how I want to. So you can teach them that the earth is 6,000 years old, the God zapped anatomically modern humans into existence with a snap of his fingers, that the Grand Canyon was created after Noah’s flood and that dinosaurs are a trick God played on us to test our faith. Turn them into science-illiterate, war-mongering, fag-hating ignorant fucks. That is your right. Meanwhile people like Ms. Bevilacqua and myself may raise our kids to be so open minded that you think they are weird. OK. Fine. Fair enough. You leave my kids alone and I’ll leave your kids alone. Thank you.

My Worst Nightmare

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